Hello,

Life has a way of disrupting the best plans you may have made. Mine sure did.

I hope to get back to working on the next novel of Steve Hawks’ adventures.

With that in mind, an editing program I use at times has developed a Critique Report to give you feedback on your writing.

I took the first chapter of my new work and ran it through their program.

Feel free to leave a comment down below. No personal information entered is used or stored.

Have a wonderful holiday season.

Here are the results from their feedback.

Critique Report

💪Strengths

1. The author effectively builds tension and suspense throughout the scene.
2. The dialogue between characters feels natural and reveals their personalities.
3. The pacing of the scene keeps the reader engaged and interested.

🌟Plot/Story

The storyline in this scene revolves around a group of federal agents who find themselves being pursued by security guards and police officers. The events are logically connected, with the tension escalating as the characters try to escape their pursuers. The pacing is effective, keeping the reader engaged and interested in the outcome.

🦸Characters

The characters in this scene are well-developed and believable. They have depth, motivations, and emotional complexity. Their actions and dialogue reveal their personalities and contribute to the overall tension of the scene.

🌪️Tension

The tension in this scene arises from the pursuit and the characters' attempts to escape. The threat of violence and the uncertainty of the situation create a sense of urgency and suspense. The author effectively maintains this tension throughout the scene, keeping the reader engaged and on edge.

👁️Point of View

The point of view in this scene appears to be third-person limited, primarily following the perspective of the protagonist, Steve. This allows the reader to experience the events and emotions through his eyes, creating a more immersive reading experience.

🏞️Setting

The setting is established primarily through the characters' interactions with their surroundings, such as the tree line, ridge, and cornfield. While the specific location is not explicitly stated, the description provides enough detail to ground the reader in the scene. The setting is utilized effectively to heighten the tension and create a sense of urgency.

🗣️Style/Voice

The author's writing style is engaging and suitable for the story. The use of descriptive language and dialogue helps bring the narrative to life. The voice of the writing effectively conveys the characters' emotions and the intensity of the situation.

🧩Clarity/Cohesion

The writing is clear and ideas are logically connected. The events flow smoothly from one to another, and the reader can easily follow the progression of the scene.

🔄Potential Improvements

1. Provide more background information on why the characters are being pursued.
2. Develop the secondary characters further to enhance their roles in the story.
3. Consider adding more descriptive details to fully immerse the reader in the setting.

🏁Conclusion

Overall, this piece of creative writing effectively builds tension, develops compelling characters, and maintains a strong narrative arc. With some additional development and attention to detail, it has the potential to be a captivating and engaging story.

Here is the link to Hawks’ Dilemma https://tinyurl.com/2mtal5xf

Book two, Marked to Kill: https://tinyurl.com/46bh932s

I have bookplates now that I can sign, and you can place it inside the front cover for those of you that wanted a signed copy and do not live near to me.

If you would like one, just send me an email with your name and address. I will mail one to you. Find my email address on my website at johnpoindexter.com

Until next time,

John