Hello,

Life has a way of disrupting the best plans you may have made. Mine sure did.

I hope to get back to working on the next novel of Steve Hawks’ adventures.

With that in mind, an editing program I use at times has developed a Critique Report to give you feedback on your writing.

I took the first chapter of my new work and ran it through their program.

Feel free to leave a comment down below. No personal information entered is used or stored.

Have a wonderful holiday season.

Here are the results from their feedback.

Critique Report

💪Strengths

1. The author effectively builds tension and suspense throughout the scene.
2. The dialogue between characters feels natural and reveals their personalities.
3. The pacing of the scene keeps the reader engaged and interested.

🌟Plot/Story

The storyline in this scene revolves around a group of federal agents who find themselves being pursued by security guards and police officers. The events are logically connected, with the tension escalating as the characters try to escape their pursuers. The pacing is effective, keeping the reader engaged and interested in the outcome.

🦸Characters

The characters in this scene are well-developed and believable. They have depth, motivations, and emotional complexity. Their actions and dialogue reveal their personalities and contribute to the overall tension of the scene.

🌪️Tension

The tension in this scene arises from the pursuit and the characters' attempts to escape. The threat of violence and the uncertainty of the situation create a sense of urgency and suspense. The author effectively maintains this tension throughout the scene, keeping the reader engaged and on edge.

👁️Point of View

The point of view in this scene appears to be third-person limited, primarily following the perspective of the protagonist, Steve. This allows the reader to experience the events and emotions through his eyes, creating a more immersive reading experience.

🏞️Setting

The setting is established primarily through the characters' interactions with their surroundings, such as the tree line, ridge, and cornfield. While the specific location is not explicitly stated, the description provides enough detail to ground the reader in the scene. The setting is utilized effectively to heighten the tension and create a sense of urgency.

🗣️Style/Voice

The author's writing style is engaging and suitable for the story. The use of descriptive language and dialogue helps bring the narrative to life. The voice of the writing effectively conveys the characters' emotions and the intensity of the situation.

🧩Clarity/Cohesion

The writing is clear and ideas are logically connected. The events flow smoothly from one to another, and the reader can easily follow the progression of the scene.

🔄Potential Improvements

1. Provide more background information on why the characters are being pursued.
2. Develop the secondary characters further to enhance their roles in the story.
3. Consider adding more descriptive details to fully immerse the reader in the setting.

🏁Conclusion

Overall, this piece of creative writing effectively builds tension, develops compelling characters, and maintains a strong narrative arc. With some additional development and attention to detail, it has the potential to be a captivating and engaging story.

Here is the link to Hawks’ Dilemma https://tinyurl.com/2mtal5xf

Book two, Marked to Kill: https://tinyurl.com/46bh932s

I have bookplates now that I can sign, and you can place it inside the front cover for those of you that wanted a signed copy and do not live near to me.

If you would like one, just send me an email with your name and address. I will mail one to you. Find my email address on my website at johnpoindexter.com

Until next time,

John

Hello,

The local library is sponsoring a Beyond the Book Festival on September 30th from 9:00 am to 3:00 pm CST.

I will be there to sign my books for anyone that has bought one. There will be books for sale as well.  Each book is $10.00.

What a month August has been. The air conditioner went out and was just fixed this past Friday (18^th).

Our son had surgery and is still trying to recuperate. Bad part is he cannot play the last three golf league matches. 

My sister just left after spending a week with us. While here, she and I painted the back porch walls and fixed a couple of little things. Last time she was here, we stained the privacy fence. That was a hard job since the sprayer I bought was for staining, did not spray in a fan spray. Took forever as we had to spray the stain on in a stream and then she would take a brush and spread it out.

They built our house back in the early 1900s, so there is always something that needs repaired.

For example, the humidifier they installed when we bought the furnace/air units caused the air conditioning problem. The city’s hard water caused the calcium to build up on the evaporator and eat a hole in it. Now, the next thing I will have to have repaired is that humidifier after they have installed the new water softener next week.

We both do not like soft water.

I finished reading the Jack Reacher book, PAST TENSE, in two days. Just could not leave it alone for too long of a time. Very exciting story.

I have several more of his to read yet and a couple of other authors' work. Maybe I will assign a number to each book and then randomly pick one to read by drawing a number.

Even though this next week it is to be near 100 degrees, in two weeks we start the “BER” months. I hate the “BER” months. They are calling for severe cold and more snow for this winter. Two things I hate the most.

What are you doing as summer draws to a close? Leave a comment below and let us all know about your exciting plans.

Here is the link to Hawks’ Dilemma https://tinyurl.com/2mtal5xf

Book two, Marked to Kill: https://tinyurl.com/46bh932s

I have bookplates now that I can sign, and you can place it inside the front cover for those of you that wanted a signed copy and do not live near to me.

If you would like one, just send me an email with your name and address. I will mail one to you. Find my email address on my website at johnpoindexter.com

Until next time,

John

The end of July and summer is flying by. This past week the temperatures have been in the high nineties and people want the snow and cold. I hate cold weather. If I could afford to move, I would go to a place that has warm weather all year around. But that is a pipe dream.

Since we have had a few rain storms now, the grass is needing cut more and more. I told my wife I want to cement in the whole yard, as I was tired of having to cut grass. The weeds are the rose to cut, as the weed eater kills my back. It is hello getting old.

My oldest son is having surgery soon and will need all the prayers people can send.

We are hoping it will fix the problem he has been having.

My son and I play golf in a league at the local course. Somehow, we have moved into third place in the second half of the season. It would be great if we can hold that place and advance higher. Not holding my breath or either.

Once again, I did not win the lottery. Congratulations to the one that did when that large Powerball payout.

Started reading another Jack Reacher book, PAST TENSE. It is very captivating.

Of course, all of Lee Child’s books are that way.

What are you doing this summer? Leave a comment below and let us all know about your exciting plans.

Here is the link to Hawks’ Dilemma https://tinyurl.com/2mtal5xf

Book two, Marked to Kill: https://tinyurl.com/46bh932s

I have bookplates now that I can sign, and you can place it inside the front cover for those of you that wanted a signed copy and do not live near to me.

If you would like one, just send me an email with your name and address. I will mail one to you. Find my email address on my website at johnpoindexter.com

Until next time,

John

I can't believe that June is almost over. We are now just starting to not to need a blanket on the bed. I love the hot weather.

We spent several days down at Patoka Lake in southern Indiana on a houseboat.

It was 54 feet long and 14 feet wide. I found it hard to keep the thing going in a straight line. Constantly had to turn the wheel left and right to stay on course. The fishing was horrible while we were there.

But it was enjoyable. Not something I will do again. Next adventure will have to be in a 5-Star hotel. LOL!

I took along the manuscript for book three and edited it while there. Found out that two chapters dealing with specific points to what is already there are missing.

After coming home, I searched all my computers, old 3.5 floppy disks and files, but to no avail. That information is gone. Now I will have to remember back several years when I first started writing this story to figure out what all it was that I wanted to say about those points.

Have you ever done that? Misplaced or lost chapters? Those that you wanted to use and find that you cannot remember everything?

I found out that Barnes and Noble are selling Marked to Kill online. Wish they would carry it in the store. I would love to go to the one close to us and sign the books.

A big literary book signing is coming up in September. They have invited me to attend. It will be interesting if all the authors they have invited show up. I would say there are about 30 or more on the list.

What are you doing this summer? Leave a comment below and let us all know about your exciting plans.

Here is the link to Hawks’ Dilemma https://tinyurl.com/2mtal5xf

Book two, Marked to Kill: https://tinyurl.com/46bh932s

I have bookplates now that I can sign, and you can place it inside the front cover for those of you that wanted a signed copy and do not live near to me. These are a standard item for authors to provide a signature.

If you would like one, just send me an email with your name and address. I will mail one to you. Find my email address on my website at johnpoindexter.com

Until next time,

John